The analogy I was able to create became a valuable lesson from my night at induction - it just wasn't the lesson taught in the meeting.
I met with my Master teacher and explained how I grew up playing the harp. I played the harp with dedication for six years before I went to college and declared music as my major. I enjoyed those early years of learning and playing but I was exhausted...
I was keeping track of everything with the music - I was reading the notes, counting the rhythm, remembering the dynamics, perfecting my technique, practicing with a metronome religiously -- I played beautifully -- I was exhausted.
It wasn't until I was 18 years old and my older sister died of cancer that I began playing the harp for the sake of playing; that I stopped keeping track of all the details involved in playing and I just enjoyed the music.
I was crying as I told my master teacher that I am exhausted of keeping track of everything and I just want to let go of all the pieces and enjoy the job of running the preschool. I just want to breathe that deep, relaxing breath and enjoy the music of the preschool.
My master teacher said that she completely understood -- but it's going to take a few years.
On another note, I watched the move CHALK since our last induction meeting and I LOVED it! It was so real - hilarious - but real.
CHALK is not the story of a young and inspired teacher who sacrifices her marriage and her life for a class of students that are under-privileged and all they need is a chance and her dedication. Then the teacher loses her husband but sees successful students rise out of her blood, sweat and tears - and she knows she's changed their lives. That story is the very rare exception.
CHALK is honest. At the end of the year, it's the honest portrayal of newer teachers answering the questions:
"Did your students learn the content you wanted them to?"
"I don't know."
"Did you teach the curriculum you were supposed to?"
"I tried."
"Do you know if you're coming back next year?"
"No. I don't."
That is the real ending story-line to a first-year teacher.
